i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
