I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize