I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
