Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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