she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
