I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
