she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
