Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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