he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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