Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
