I am in a vortex of obligation.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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