No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
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Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
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I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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