when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
