yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
