Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You need a sexual gate keeper
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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