I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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