Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
