Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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