Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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