is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
