I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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