He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
