All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
