I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize