moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
