you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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