No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My dick has a subreddit
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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