she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize