sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
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I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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