she woke up with a sticky ear
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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