Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize