i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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