sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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