Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
