Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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