sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
