Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
