There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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