Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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