rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
