the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
