i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
