I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
