I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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