Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
