found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize