Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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