Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
