I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
