..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
