Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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