I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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