my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
