I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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