I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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