I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
