Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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