this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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