Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
