apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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