My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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