it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
