there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
