she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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