Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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