She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
