Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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