I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
