matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
