why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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