He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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