Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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